Hmmm…What’s wrong with my Wedding Checklist?

As a wedding officiant in New Jersey, I echo my colleague Maureen’s thoughts.This is always a difficult discussion, and totally understandable. Every wedding had a budget, and no matter what size it is, it is usually wrapped very tightly around all the elements of the day.Of course, we believe the ceremony is the most important part of the entire day (well, besides WHO you’re going to marry….) Simply choosing someone who will ‘get the job done” is an unfortunate way to start your new life together.

A good officiant who you really love is probably only slightly more than what you had in mind, and while most couples do know what photographers, receptions and rings cost, they don’t have any idea what a professional officiant will charge. The budgets that are presented to me are often so low that they only allow for the most minimally trained officiant to be present.,

You will find that officiants that write your story as a collaborative effort and make it a true feature of the day rather than a “point of entry” to the party hover in the same price range and those fees reflect many thins that are not as obvious as a stunning cake or magnificent flowers. There is significant “invisible” time spent by your officiant; meeting with you, writing editing beforehand; officiating, of course, pre-ceremony time, travel on the day and followup for the license. Their fees don’t reflect greed, but the reality of time and care involved by a professional who is very often not supported by a full time job in a church or synagogue.,

An really great officiant is not going to charge an insignificant amount, and for many other couples, it is an amount that presents itself at the very end of the planning. That expense, however will guarantee you a ceremony that your guests will remember and talk about whenever they see you, rather than a ceremony that accomplished the the task at hand.

That is a gift to your guests that they (and you) will remember forever.

Best of luck to you for a wonderful wedding day!

While it is true that we are a necessity to the marriage ceremony, what is also true is the reality factor. We may wax eloquently about the excellence of our services but as for direct and honest interest in our services, we need not expect too much. We lag way back on the totem pole and as a priority, we are invisible.
However, we are people of hope who can use a couple’s need for an officiant as a teaching moment and working with them in a passionate manner, we can embellish the experience of the ceremony to such a height that they may after wards impress on their friends how an officiant should not be an afterthought.
As for the bargain persons, it is what it is. And don’t we all like a bargain!
Of course we can rail and lament how we are unappreciated and undervalued we are, forgo a booking and later spend that time slouching on the couch!
Or we can experience the good good feeling of having had the chance to be a living presence at a wedding ceremony that is PRICELESS.

Thank You Elissa for blogging on this one. My husband and I were wed by officiant Sydney Mettrick, author of ‘I Do: A Guide to Creating Your Own Unique Wedding Ceremony’. We heard her on the radio with a host who just wasn’t getting it; how anyone would value the service she was offering. But, on the basis of what we heard her share in that half hour, we booked her… on the air!

I can affirm that the orchestration of everything else needed to pull off our Wedding Ceremony & Celebration occurred AFTER we found her. We do know that early connection with our officiant informed and shaped our Wedding Day in wonderfully memorable ways which fulfilled our vision. We know for a fact too, that other couples in our circles have gone on to seek out the same level of wonder & profundity for their own nuptials. Yes; we are at the helm and are wholly welcome/invited to make our lives come True!

nuptials n : the social event at which the ceremony of marriage is performed